Wee-wee
Narrator
It's the adventures of Captain Birdseye! The story so far... the
fearless captain, robbed of his rightful property, races over the
waves to find the fish finger filching fiend. Will he conquer and be
victorious? Will he reign for evermore as king of the oceans? Or will
something else happen; or what?
Captain
Ahoy there! I'm Captain Birdseye!
Kids
[unenthusiastic] Yay.
Captain
What's up, me hearties?
Kids
We're hungry. [Want food, etc.]
Billy
Want to go home. Want me mum.
Captain
Come on, Billy, we're hot on the heels of the evil fish stick rustler!
Isn't this exciting!
Katie
Captain, we haven't had anything to eat for five days.
Billy
I don't want to drink wee-wee any more.
Katie
Yes, your urine is starting to taste really rancid.
Captain
Aar! It's good for you lad. Puts hairs on your chest.
Katie
[finally losing her rag] I don't want hairs on my bloody chest
Captain Birdseye I'm a bloody girl!
Captain
[thinking of something to say] ...Aar.
Katie
Don't you 'aar' me, you stubbly old buffoon! I hate you and your
stinking boat. I just want to go home and eat and wash and I'll never
get the smell of fish out of my clothes, ever. I... [sob] I hate you
Captain Birdseye.
Captain
...Aar.
Narrator
More exciting adventures with Captain Birdseye next time!
Billy
Captain... I think I've got scurvy.