Part 84: Progressive rock
Eddie
Hello. I'm Professor Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards. For the last forty
years I have dedicated myself to painstaking research into the field
of music. I now know more about music than anyone else in the world,
so I am more clever than you. You must pay attention to me! This
programme is by me and it is called the History of Music.
Announcer
Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards's History of Music, part 84: Progressive
rock.
Music
Some dodgy prog rock instrumental bit
Eddie
Progressive rock, or 'prog rock' as it is known to you lazy student
wasters who can't be bothered with the extra syllables, has achieved
a bad reputation and is generally seen as totally unfashionable. My
studies confirm that there is a good reason for this, namely that it
is crap; made by old, flatulent men for other old, flatulent men,
normally with beards, the size and complexity of which is matched only
by their hi-fi-victim stereo systems. In the strange world of
progressive rock, singles are made the length of albums and albums
come at least in pairs, with elaborate cover art and a sharp stick
provided free with which the unfortunate listener may poke themselves
in the eye to prevent unconsciousness occurring.
Legend has it that progressive rock had its genesis [cut] [off-mic] Ha ha! Genesis! I do a funny! [cut] at the 1970 Happy-Songs Festival in Dampfpatsch, a small town near Ostend. Desperate for a poo and a Pot Noodle, the members of headlining sixties legends Jossy and the Flying Nylons left the stage mid-song, leaving their experimental music computer to play chords at random. The band returned half an hour later to find a new - and entirely evil - genre born.
Computer technology has since improved in leaps and bounds; prog rock has not. Most prog rockers are in hiding for their crimes and eke out a living composing dreadful demonstration tunes for Casio keyboards. However, their insidious power lives on, an ancient evil lurking beneath popular music, occasionally surfacing to pollute modern records such as Mansun's Six. Such bands should be put down now for everyone's safety.
Legend has it that progressive rock had its genesis [cut] [off-mic] Ha ha! Genesis! I do a funny! [cut] at the 1970 Happy-Songs Festival in Dampfpatsch, a small town near Ostend. Desperate for a poo and a Pot Noodle, the members of headlining sixties legends Jossy and the Flying Nylons left the stage mid-song, leaving their experimental music computer to play chords at random. The band returned half an hour later to find a new - and entirely evil - genre born.
Computer technology has since improved in leaps and bounds; prog rock has not. Most prog rockers are in hiding for their crimes and eke out a living composing dreadful demonstration tunes for Casio keyboards. However, their insidious power lives on, an ancient evil lurking beneath popular music, occasionally surfacing to pollute modern records such as Mansun's Six. Such bands should be put down now for everyone's safety.
Announcer
Next week, in part 85 of Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards's History of Music: Supergroups, crap or crap?