How fish fingers are made

Narrator
It's the Adventures of Captain Birdseye!
Captain
Ahoy there! I'm Captain Birdseye.
Kids
Yay!
Billy
Captain?
Captain
Aye aye young Billy!
Billy
How do you make your yummy fish fingers?
Captain
Aar! I'm glad you asked me that, me lad! You see...
Music
End bed. Song begins:
Captain
It starts at the bottom of the sea,
Where the fishy-wishy's swimming along;
And it's having such a lovely day,
So it sings its little fishy song (all together now!)
All
Fishy-wishy-wishy-fishy-fishy-wishy-woo!
Singing its fishy song!
Captain
Up on the surface is our boat,
Dragging a big drift-net along,
It scoops up all the little fishies,
As they sing their little fishy song.
All
Fishy-wishy-wishy-fishy-fishy-wishy-woo!
Sing that groovy fishy song!
Captain
We haul up the net onto our boat,
Full of fish - it really pongs.
And then the little fishies suffocate,
Which stops them singing little fishy songs.
All
Fishy-wishy-wishy-fishy-fishy-wishy-woo!
No more of their fishy song!
Captain
Then we take all the dead fish below decks,
Down into the processing room.
Would you like to see it children?
Kids
Yay!
FX
Door opening; music ends; followed by the sound of terrible machinery grinding and chopping fish-flesh.
Kids
[Eww! Yuck!; some of the kids start crying]
Captain
Fishy-wishy-wishy-fishy-fishy...
Aar! What's wrong, me hearties?
Billy
[sobbing] I don't like it Captain! The poor little fishies!
Katie
The smell! The terrible smell! Oh, the horror...
FX
Katie vomiting
Captain
Katie! Don't be sick in the fish liquidiser! Aaar... we'll have to invent new fish fingers with carrot now.
Narrator
More exciting adventures with Captain Birdseye next time!
Captain
Come back! I haven't told you how we make the crispy breadcrumbs yet!
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